Heidi Rome – Heidi Rome

Holiday Tips for Moms

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As an experienced mom, the holidays can be a challenge. The following five tips will help you create calm and peace in your day.

Be mindful that menus stay familiar

Children with autism may be challenged by holiday foods and menus. Keeping meals and menus familiar will reduce texture and food choice refusals.

Plan to travel and keep familiar snacks handy

During the holidays, children may need to travel or be in unfamiliar places during snack time. Carrying your own snacks and treats may provide incentive and ease during transitions.

Be mindful of sugar and caffeine.

Often, holiday offerings involve extra sugar and caffeine. If your child or teen is having more act-outs or difficulty sleeping, it could be the fuel they’re consuming. Be mindful that many holiday recipes include additional sugar and caffeine.

Plan for quiet nights at home.

The holidays often invite our calendars to be crowded. Our expectations to have a peaceful holiday are more likely to be fulfilled when we plan pauses, quiet evenings, and spaces between activities.

Give yourself permission to define what works for your family–and do it.

Hallmark nor Pinterest nor Instagram is the definer of your success. Be mindful that you are the resident expert on your family, and plan and participate accordingly. A good thing for others may not be even acceptable for yours. Do what works for you. Better a lovely evening than a competition for chaos.

Choose what matters to you.

There are many ways to do almost anything. If something is important to you, take time to think through what matters about it and release the rest. Maybe that perfect picture is made up of five individual pictures on a card versus one perfect five-person picture. The picture is what you are after; keep it easy.

The important part of the holidays is creating and connecting to those we love. It’s the best gift to give yourself and your family: Less stress this season!

Are You Aware of Your Needs?

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When you are the parent or the teacher of a severely autistic non-verbal child, it’s a full attention role. Are you aware though, that the attention needs to be on YOU? Too often we are left with the impression and expectation that all of our energy must be focused on our young adult.

What does that lead to?

Overwhelm, burnout, health issues, and in the moment, more exhaustion.

What if we retrain our hearts to listen to our own needs when things go awry? To see the “act out” behavior as something to be curious about, something to name but not tie heavy emotions like guilt, shame, and fear, and have some “go to” places emotionally to go to that support our energy and in the process, support our loved one that is having a hard time.

I call that the Win/When Skill Set. It’s a mindset and action-based thought process that supports your health, protects your child, and expands your options for how to engage even the most difficult of situations. We’ll be sharing it in schools, communities and in ZOOM sessions with individuals.

Are You A Mom of a Severely Autistic Person?

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Have you just gotten a diagnosis of a severely autistic child or person in your family? Do you feel overwhelmed? Like you’ve just been given the task of solving autism, healing autism and making your child okay? What about guilt? Someone trying to tell you that you ate cabbage and it caused autism? Perhaps overworked or took chances they wouldn’t have taken?

Isn’t it overwhelming, scary and concerning when everything you looked forward to about parenting has taken a backseat to the now reality of having a child with significant needs you’ve never dealt with before?

You are not alone, I’ve been there too

You don’t have to go it alone.

My Son Sees What I Cannot

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I’m not always sure who has the clearer vision, Ethan sees what matters, and shuts the rest of the world outside. I see the world, but too often shut down inside in the pursuit of succeeding. ~ Heidi Rome, Autism Mom
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I’m not always sure who has the clearer vision, Ethan sees what matters, and shuts the rest of the world outside.
Heidi Rome

Have you ever questioned yourself before you knew anything was different…you knew?

Ethan was a long desired child, late to the motherhood club, I had married later in life, and married life with children meant that we had to get with it to even have the chance to create a family together.

It wasn’t as though I hadn’t thought to have children. My pattern since childhood had been to dutifully tend what was put before me. Our family ethics had implied that if it was something you could do, it was yours to do. I had lived a long litany of things that needed to be done…for my Mom who was unwell in my childhood, to the point of dying. To the office, who needed my skills as a marketing manager, to the clubs, organizations and all the things…that seemed to always urgently need tending.

I wasn’t able to focus on myself, I told myself that daily. “I’ll get to it, another day, someday…when this is complete” The problem was…life crisises and happenings never stopped. Slowly but surely my life joy and expectancy for good things to happen ground to a halt. About the time we had all my original dreams coming true. A healthy son, a strong marriage, a great job, then Ethan’s pregnancy put the frosting on the cake…except I knew… I knew deeply…shortly after Ethan’s birth.

and it only took two years before my concerns were finally affirmed…. (to be continued)

Autism Mom Mentor

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It took me a long time to realize that it wasn’t my job to cure my son…but to cure my own thinking of why my life was so hard.
Heidi Rome